Computers at Christmas

I watch a number of sources for information on computer virus/worm/phishing/nasty stuff. One that I look at regularly is the SANS Internet Storm Center at http://isc.sans.org/

Today, December 25, 2005, there is an excellent article on "if your parents got a new computer for Christmas, what would you tell them to do?" In actual fact, the article isn't the key, the responses to the request for ideas are. They come from all over the world and some of them are classic.

From Gavin:
If my parents got a new omputer for christmas, I'd make sure they had my brother in laws number and go on holiday somewhere with no mobile phone coverage.

Read on for more, or go directly to the article at: http://isc.sans.org/diary.php?rss&storyid=960
The best one for being complete was from Randy Nash:
I saw your post this morning asking what we'd tell our parents if they got a new computer for Christmas. Last year I started getting calls right after Christmas from family and friends, prompting me to write my "New Years Security Resolutions" article

While some of this may be somewhat dated, I tried to keep it generic and high-level enough to be useful over time. Today I'd at least add a section on using a secondary browser such as FireFox. I may also expand on the various tool listings for each category. I hope you find this suitable.
I strongly suggest following the link and reading Randy's article

And another favourite:
From Michael Varre:
Return it for a full refund. Then take the money and go on vacation for a few days :)

and my absolute favourite:

From Dave Rundle

'Twas the day after Christmas, when all through the house
we were gathered round the PC, examining the mouse;
The flat-panel LDC; speakers, so new and so crisp,
Displayed Microsoft Sam, with his usual lisp;

"Welcome to Windows," it intoned with a beep
Never warning that the Internet has more than one creep;
And mamma's logging in, and shopping like crazy,
Cause security issues make most people lazy,

When up on the screen there arose a quick popup,
A quick flash of the drive light, a really quick screw-up.
Away to the keyboard I flew like a flash,
Tore open the registry and cried "Where's the Patch!"

The new startup path was pointed to "Temp,"
Hmm, where the Internet cache is usually kept?
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a known key logger, to cause much fear

With an outdated driver, more useless than junk,
"Who hacked my computer; what little cyber-punk!"
More holes than had patches, who was to blame?
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, Microsoft! now, Borland! now, eBay and Spammers!
On, Oracle! on Apache! on, Mozilla and Hackers!
Who can guard my computer, who's the best of them all?
Who can do a good job, and not leave me to fall?

As Norton was loaded, and Mcafee started,
My guests grew tired, and soon they departed.
Loading up patches took most of the night,
And then the next morning, I had a new fight.

My adolescent son awoke before dawn
Frantic scrambles downstairs I heard as I woke with a yawn.
Cam Girls Live he'd found; a deviant site,
You won't meet him here, cause he's grounded for life.

Net Nanny I loaded, and then CyberSitter,
A whole lot of trouble caused by this little critter…
A new bunch of toolbars has just been installed,
And a DLL error, (the kid will get mauled!)

By the next week, I gave up, the computer reloaded,
40 hours of work, like the Matrix I coded.
Had I taken the time to prepare my Dell,
I would not be he sitting here inside malware hell.

Merry Christmas to all - and happy surfing/blogging/computing!
richard

and a followup article at SANS says:

    * 8% suggested the use of a hardware router
    * 8% suggested that Linux was the answer for their parents
    * 11% thought that Macs were a safer option
    * 19% were willing to enter a lifetime support contract for their parents
    * 19% thought that their parents couldn't handle a computer
    * 25% of the submitters chose to send their suggestions anonymously